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DEAR FUTURE WIFE®: Who Do We Think We Are?

Why do I think I can demand her patience?

Why do I think I can keep her in the Friend Zone knowing she wants more?

Why do I think she’s going to wait for me when I know there are others waiting for her?

Why am I emotionally posturing?

Why do I expect perfection while my mirror is held together by Elmer’s glue?

Why would I want her to come over and create love’s image on a dry erase board, only to fade as she leaves?

Why did I want to love her only on my terms?

Why do I miss her but dismiss her feelings?

Why are we unable to love legally blindly?

 

Who are you to demand my readiness just because you are?

Why are you not willing to develop a friendship first?

Why do you keep rushing me and comparing me to the others who are vying for you?

Why are you forcing me to be so emotionally vulnerable?

Why are you ignoring my imperfect confessions that reveal why I want to lay a foundation for us to build on?

Why do you want to come over and not stay? Why leave me? I see the hesitation and blame for what happened to you.

Why do you want me to love you only on your terms?

Why aren’t you allowing yourself to miss me?

Why are we unable to love without hurt?

 

We are hurt people, wanting to be loved by what hurt us.

We are two people who run from anything that reminds us of our scars.

We are two people who are tired of trying, so we give up after one strike.

We both want each other but are so worried that we may just want what we are missing.

We are both afraid of love’s shadow because it’s sometimes scary. All we have to do is turn on the light.

We are both stuck to our timelines – going in opposite directions, trying to reach other at the same time.

Neither wants to go full circle to come back to each other.

Or do we?

We gave up on each other instead of giving in to each other.

Who do we think we are?

We are what we need…

(Image credit: hellobeautiful.com)

Bashea Williams, LCSW-C

Paul Bashea (Bah-Shay) Williams, LCSW-C, LICSW is described as an Intellectual Emotionalist. Someone who understands what a man thinks and what a woman feels. Helping the two meet and have common ground by encouraging emotion and logic to agree. He is a dedicated father, Licensed Certified Social Worker- Clinical, Relationship Specialist and Writer. He works with at-risk youth and specializes in marriage and family, couples, and individual counseling. He provides relationship advice to individuals and couples. He writes about life, love, and fatherhood. His writing, acting, and public speaking has been featured on panels throughout the country, Huffington Post and several other popular websites, national syndicated radio shows, television and movies. Bashea first started writing to first hold himself accountable and get a better understanding of people's hearts and minds. He loves how relationships work and operate. He strives to help others through his words. Bashea Williams has provided valuable insight on relationships, motivation, and parenting on a variety of panels and conferences. He is highly recruited and his work is valued as measurable and complete. He has years of providing counseling services for singles, couples, youth, and families. Bashea Williams has become well-known for his Trademarked Dear Future Wife series that serves as a man's guide and a woman's reference. His goal is to influence healthy relationships by having compromise, consideration, and an understanding of how people interact. You can follow his work at BasheaWilliams.com, BasheaWilliams on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.

This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. M

    Not sure I understand this post. Could you please explain/expand/elaborate? Cheers!

    1. Bashea Williams, LCSW-C

      This is a conversation between a man and a woman who are afraid to take the risk of a relationship. The man is having the conversation with himself about going forward with a relationship or expecting the woman to wait.

  2. Milli

    I see both sides. Sad that it seems both parties remained in their own resolute. How do you come together?

    1. Bashea Williams, LCSW-C

      Essentially the man just has to decide instead of holding her hostage. A conversation is needed.

  3. Patricia James

    I’m a single mom been the whole time LOL.I’m ready to be a WIFE I am a WIFE but without a husband.tell me how do I find him the right way

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