Dear Future Wife™: You Made it Safe

Post author:Bashea Williams, LCSW-C
Post published:May 4, 2016
Post category:Dear Future Wife®
Post comments:0 Comments

A man needs to feel safe in order to move forward in a relationship.

I realized I needed safety in my relationship and you made that happen.

You created a bubble that protects any and everything I ever desired to share with someone.

I found safety in who you were as opposed to who you were trying to be for me.

That safety made me gravitate towards you.

The word potential was considered dangerous until we met and looked at it specifically and purposely.

I saw you for who you were and didn’t think past that moment in your life. I decided I could love you there. The potential I saw was us spending the rest of our lives together as we were. Everything else was a bonus.

I appreciate you doing the same thing for me. You didn’t want to marry what I could be; you married who I am. You didn’t plan to change me into your ideal man or try to mold me into the husband of your dreams. You said, “I choose who you are today to spend my FOREVER tomorrow with”.

There were a couple of things I saw in you that showed me it was safe for me to move forward.

I paid attention to how you treated others and although they got treated great, I naturally got your greatest.

I began to experience what my friends, who are initialed, were getting from their wives and thought “this is what they are talking about”.

You made life bigger than yourself, you were selfless, put others first and went the extra mile to keep everyone happy. (DT)

You created this bubble of selflessness and anyone that stepped in it, benefited without you expecting.

You knew how to balance this because you didn’t allow yourself to be used or burned out.

You showed me that by being you.

You put God before everything. (TB)

Dear Future Wife, you made it safe to say and show I trust you. I trust you with all my insecurities. You know everything about me. You were there for the worse of times and best of times. (TH)

Your loyalty made me realize it was okay to let down my guard and let you in. I watched you love and express passion. That strength broke through my safety armor because it showed me how you love. (JW)

You gave me evidence of your wealth of love and I wanted in on that experience. I wanted to combine loves.

We created “Wealthy Love”.

You made it safe for me to abandon my ego and bravado when it came to you.

The consistency in your words made it safe.

There is safety in who you are!

You made it safe for me to say I’m struggling because your response wasn’t to make it worse. You reminded me that I wasn’t alone.

You made it safe for me to say I need help. You reminded me that you were there.

You made it safe for me to say that wasn’t my expertise.

You made it safe for me to be honest.

You made it safe for me to say that I’m falling out of love because you knew I wanted to regain our balance and stand tall.

Your “How are you?” wasn’t generic and routine. It was specific to what we discussed. It was specific to an area where I was struggling. It was specific to an area where I was succeeding.

Your words were intentional.

I know if I wanted to have a career or job change you would be there to talk it through with me.

I knew that our disagreements were safe with us.

I knew that my biggest fears were never going to be played on or displayed.

I knew our conversations wouldn’t travel.

Your help wasn’t conditional or based off of self-serving contingencies.

You genuinely wanted others to succeed and I experienced that first hand.

You didn’t try to control me; you only controlled what you accepted from me.

I appreciated the difference.

You made home safe and home is wherever we are.

(Image credit: pinterest.com)

Bashea Williams, LCSW-C

Paul Bashea (Bah-Shay) Williams, LCSW-C, LICSW is described as an Intellectual Emotionalist. Someone who understands what a man thinks and what a woman feels. Helping the two meet and have common ground by encouraging emotion and logic to agree. He is a dedicated father, Licensed Certified Social Worker- Clinical, Relationship Specialist and Writer. He works with at-risk youth and specializes in marriage and family, couples, and individual counseling. He provides relationship advice to individuals and couples. He writes about life, love, and fatherhood. His writing, acting, and public speaking has been featured on panels throughout the country, Huffington Post and several other popular websites, national syndicated radio shows, television and movies. Bashea first started writing to first hold himself accountable and get a better understanding of people's hearts and minds. He loves how relationships work and operate. He strives to help others through his words. Bashea Williams has provided valuable insight on relationships, motivation, and parenting on a variety of panels and conferences. He is highly recruited and his work is valued as measurable and complete. He has years of providing counseling services for singles, couples, youth, and families. Bashea Williams has become well-known for his Trademarked Dear Future Wife series that serves as a man's guide and a woman's reference. His goal is to influence healthy relationships by having compromise, consideration, and an understanding of how people interact. You can follow his work at BasheaWilliams.com, BasheaWilliams on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.